Tuesday
Dec272016

Ozark Old......

 
     Until the 20th Century, people struggling to survive in the Ozark Mountains most likely had not considered that their “way of life” had entertainment appeal to an increasingly urban culture spreading inward from two oceans.  Fortunately, or unfortunately, a modestly recognized East Coast Author who, seemingly in bad health, was advised by his doctor to camp out in the Ozark Backwoods as a restorative remedy.  Never mind the science of this prescription, it proved providential in the wildly successful H Wright book about his sojourn, The Shepard of the Hills, published 1905.
     The book was read by untold city folks during the first half of the 20th Century.  Like all folklore tales, it was a mostly fictional story about old and primitive people in an old and uncivilized place.    Although the book did not outsell the “Bible” or “Gone with the Wind”, it did produce a geographic “branding effect” that has endured for 6 generations removed.  Perhaps it would be exaggerating to suggest that, to this day, everyone living in the Ozarks models their lives after "Old Matt and Aunt Mollie”,  but it wouldn’t be irresponsible to say that the modern Ozarks celebrate “old” far more than most of America.  
     For a 100+ years our exports have been crops and crafts.  Our most successful attractions have been  fishing/camping/folklore venues.  Our dress styles have stayed plaid and coveralls.  Our education has been vocational.  Our cusine has been fried.  Our politics has been conservative.   Our winter homes smell of burning wood.  Our religion has been trans-rational-evangelical.  Indeed, Ozark 40 equated to Marin County 60, and Ozark 70+ is about little more than Medicaid Funding.
     Some of us who are not “lifers” in the region, sometimes feel as though we are participants in a long-running reality show.  We wonder whether Dad Howitt, the enigmatic sage resident of Mutton Hollow would cheer our evolutionary path?

Friday
Dec092016

Admit It.......You Kinda Like Putin!

     Well, I guess the recent election forecast/results confirmed that Americans are somewhat closed about their real preferences.Followlng those that proudly,"standing on the cross", checked Pence on their ballots, a whole bunch of us "more secular, thoughtful people", voted for the alpha-male dude too.  Yes, we may prefer CNN to Hannity and while we might intellectually agree with Fareed Zakaria and the other Spock elites, I guess we wanted someone that reminded us more of of JJ Watts than Anderson Cooper....never mind their their policies! 

     Maybe in the few minutes a day that we aren't socially exposed, we realize that depending on personas adorn with, like, BA's in Psychology, Soccer Camp Experience, Facebook World Views, and 39th place in Math Skills; well, we may not be Boy Scout Prepare for these volitle times.  Indeed, we are, post election plus a few weeks, feeling pretty good about our new "bad-ass" champion representing us in the Geo-Political World Games. We certainly accept that the Games are nuclear serious, but we consider that, much like "highway lane-sharing", ultimately no one wants a crash in which mutual injury is virtually certain. 

     This brings me to the high profile "bad-ass" quarterback for our lifetime rivals, the guys in Red trimmed in Gold.  He sure as hell doesn't run three plays off-tackle and then punt.  He is strategic, gutsy and clever, a worthy opponent.  No, we don't want him to win, but he's not unintelligible to us, like trans-rational Imans and just plain weird Chinese.  In our more honest moments many of us think it's more like Drew Breese fans cheering for Aaron Rodgers than it's like Skywalker locked in a death struggle with D. Vader.

     Of course, I could be way wrong! 

Thursday
Dec082016

You Cannot Be Serious!

 Take you pick for the most depressing reveal in a recent Tri-Lakes News Headline.

 * That there is a street named Boo Boo Boulevard in our community

 * That damn near every one in Taney County awake at Midnight owns a gun

 * That a planned encounter was so poorly planned

 * That a woman, without a reported weapon, was shot

 * That the term "friendly fire" was used where one cop accidentally shot another

 * That the injured cop reports that his chest was filled with "schrapnel"

 * That it is possible that a deputy was firing military grade schrapnel projectiles

 * That the "fundraiser" was held at a "distillery"

 * That the reporter who wrote the story was so unskilled at writing simple stories

 * That the story was approved by an experienced editor

 * That someone as bored as myself would "comment" about the story

However, being serious, I do feel deeply for all involved, most notably the physically injured officer and the psychologically injured officer who fired the shot.  These events are far to common in our area.  We need better

                                          EDUCATION-EDUCATION-EDUCATION 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday
Dec082016

Pre-Advent Pessimism

     Life is an infinitely diversifying microbial stream optimized by an inherent constraint protocol.  Humanity is the, at present,  most complex expression of this constraint protocol.  Humans are control intelligence expressing as highly adaptive immune systems.  In our fulness humans have only the future of fulfilling the microbial constraint function. 

     In our past we have a rich and novel pattern of proliferation and evolution.  We compete for reproductive resources.  This competition yields an ongoing succeed/fail spectrum.   We invent contextual attractors in a perpetual struggle to achieve sufficient mass energy to either overcome the"haves" or to suppress the "have-nots".   Illustratively, we invented deities, farming, science, democracy,  communism, libertarianism, etc.; all as constructs to impact this economic spectrum. 

     Perhaps the microbial base, proliferating exponentially, will soon require a more sophisticated constraint protocol, bringing to a close the human support role, and this game inside the game.  When, as, and if, will humans be replaced by constraint agents that evolve through competitive forces?  Or will higher intelligence find a superior evolutionary catalyst.

Thursday
Dec082016

Cloning Charley

  The Branson Area Council of Churches is "up in arms" this week resulting from the widely publicized, but unconfirmed,  story that a local man has successfully had himself cloned.  Although the man's full name has not been released, stories in the credible Tel Aviv Newspaper Haaretz,  have closely described a well know Ozarks businessman/ minister thought to be Charley Ingram.

     While there has been speculation for years that a highly cloaked Israeli Institute funded by Raelian Interests has been active in Human Cloning Experimentation, no explanation for this extremely improbable "first successful candidate announcement"was offered.

     In recent years advances have been made in "somatic cell nuclear transfer"SCNT technologies by respected Israeli Universities.  This baseline technology, it is thought,  may have been exponentially advanced as a result of the US led refining of gene editing via CRISPR (clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeat).  Indeed, an unnamed NIH source speculated that there have also been rumors that a Taiwan "Deep Space Science" group has created a bio-matter 3-D printer using CRISPR algorithms, thought to enable embryo/adult maturation in less than 22 weeks.  If indeed this futuristic technology know as HID-ER (Human Inflationary Development-Entanglement Regeneration) was successfully implemented......well perhaps there will be two Charley Ingrams bring prosperity and good tidings to our little resort town.  If so, Silver Dollar City will no longer be our major attraction.

    Clark Jans, a local reporter for the Branson Dependent, has been following this story.  She reports that Charley, who is coincidentally the Grand Master of this years Branson Christmas Adoration Parade, said that he knew nothing of these fantasy reports.  When asked if he had supplied "stem cell material" to any labratory source, Charley said "only a sample I recently sent to New Jersey to have my colon checked".  Charley mused that this reminded him of an old "preacher story" his granddad used to tell.

      Reactions from Charley's Business Partners were couched in humor, speculating that now Charley will have needed help in "Making Branson Great Again".  A spokesman for The Rose House, where Charlie volunteers as the Sunday Morning Worship Leader, said that they are hopeful that the story is true, allowing the ALF to perhaps have a full time minister "just like Charley".  However, the spokesman for the BACC was not so optimistic; siting both the eschataological implications as well as the practical issues concerning council voting rights and clone membership litigation.