On The Third Day of Christmas, AT&T Brought To Me, Twelve Distress Calls!

Sadly, this December 22, 2011 was a typical day. Perhaps hyped somewhat by the "season", but none the less, just an ordinary day for a "pay-forward liberal" living in Branson, Missouri, the celebrated capitol of the "traditional value/tea party conservative" Ozarks. I missed no phone calls. My most worthy achievement was that I answered them all. Gout pain having tethered me to the house, I was compelling to hobble to the first hello at 7a and the last goodbye at around 9p. Each petition was unique but the common theme was unmistakable, i.e. "Let me tell you about my problem". My today's gaggle of problems will, by next week, either have withered or inflated, and regardless will by then have been overshadowed by a new gaggle. Before this happens, I am posting herewith a a brief summary of each "PROBLEM" Reading these as a collection, I believe, reveals a disturbing portrait of life in the Ozarks, circa Christmas 2012. You decide!
1. Distressed call from Charlotte: Her 88 year old mother, living with her, in that no other sibling will put up with her, because she is, simply, "mean". "Mother is threatening, without cause, to move to a Senior Care Facility. If she inquires tell her NO. She is a horrible person, but she has no reason to move. P.S. She has lots of money".
2. Threat from Unum Insurance: Sophy, a Sales Associate from a Maine Insurance Company called to obtain a Medicare number from a Home Health Agency so that her sale could be recorded in December. When the information was not yet available she became indignant and threatened to file a complaint with Medicare.
3. Serea strikes out: Serea, single mother of two children under 10, called to report that the"disability check" belonging to her roommate had not shown up. Regrettably she would not be able to reimburse me for the October electric bill at the Mobil home rental unit where she is 3 months behind on rent, and unable to secure electric service. The roommate had been arrested for parole violation. Th children's father, in prison, was ineligible for family assistance payment. She was out of food stamps, ineligible for "unemployment benefits" from last waitress job in July, could not get tags for car with missing window, and hd no job hopes until March 1, when tourist return.
4. Mrs Smith's Money: Pleasant little lady residing at a Senior Care Residence, called to report that for the second time this month, she had had money missing from her well hidden purse, the location of which was known only to her son. Her son and daughter are estranged. Son visits often. An out of state Trust Company that manages her affairs relies on a family friend for expenditure control to avoid family issues.
5. Kent's Overdraft Protection: Kent, a late 70's "post open-heart surgery patient" residing at a Senior Care Residence called seeking intervention with Great Southern Bank. He had been having staff supplement the nutritional meals served with twice daily runs to Taco Bell for Chili Cheese Burritos, not realizing that his account was being overdrawn with each $3.00 purchase resulting in a $35 protection charge. He could not pay the facility monthly service fee, in that he had spent more than $600 on burritos.
6. Helen escapes from Louie: Much yoked 80's couple residing at Senior Care Residence, called to see if their residence status was in jeopardy. Helen, burdened by moderate dementia, has been daily leaving there apartment to wander the Resident Common Areas, prompting strong checks from the staff. "After 65 years of marriage, she is still always mad at me", said Louie.
7. Ellen has a driver: Forty something, recently divorced cook, called to report that she was going to drive to Nashville for Christmas after all. She had decided not to make the long drive, given her severe back pain, but had met a nice guy at the Rusty Beaver last night who said that he would be happy to drive her. Just a little cash advance and away they went. Hope she makes it back!
8. For Seth, more seemed better: Seth, a long term acquaintance, whose life has been an uninterrupted regulatory affair, called to report a plumbing problem at the "trailer park" where he has lived since second prison release for train robbery and parole violation respectively. At 24 after a life of abandonment, foster care and prison, he started September with a clean slate. Newly remodeled mobil home with utilities paid, an unlimited cell phone, gratis, a functioning car with insurance, a job with meals and take home extras. What to do? Swipe a debit card with a pryed pin number and get a $100. Of course it makes no sense,' not even to Seth, now exempted from police complaint, but facing "total bust" at January.
9. Lloyd's $20: A nice young man, reported to have prospered during the "Branson Good Times", out of work, luck, transportation, shelter and utilities, trying to rebound with part time waiter job, called to pride fully acknowledge inability to repay last weeks "gas money for borrowed car". Advised 3 days cold at his severly disabled fathers disrepair trailer. Did not ask for cash/asked for work. None in sight.
10. No Grace for Grace: Scott, a CNA assigned to care for Grace, an 80 year old recent widow living in a delapidated trailer on a back road 10 miles outside of Lampe, called to inquire what, if anything, we might do to assisted Grace in recovering her house from the bugs and cats now in control. Although she has $2500 per month income from Social Security and 30 year teachers pension, she owes twice the value on trailer and has no savings. Dead brother and husband, plus live son, daughter,grandson and nephew support mentioned as possible explanation. Only family asset, $100,000 of land, willed to retarded nephew and being "tended to" by Branson lawyer. Living conditions at Somalia level. Who to call? Not an easy call!
11. Shelata & Todd need presents: A nuclear family with children named Rooster, Serenity and Patience, who are not unemployed because they have ceased to look for any wage source for several years, called to borrow a car so that "the kids" might get to see the Christmas lights, and to further, without direct request, make me aware that, if "the kids" were unable to buy their parents Christmas gifts, that they would be very sad. The call was after lunch, in that the parents, free from employment, rent, utilities, taxes, insurance and school lunches, sleep peacefully until aroun noon. PS, Shelata & Todd, like virtually everyone of their peers, have a working cell phone.
12. My sister, Sara: As she often does my sister, Sara called late in the day to muse rhetorically as to why she and I spends 14/7 fighting the above exampled economic/cultural black-hole with but, metaphoric, only a slingshot. I don't speak for Sara, but to acknowledge my personal motivation, it is not because I am so blessed with compassion. It is more that, siding with underprivileged/underachievers is the best way I know to "heep burning coals on the head" of all the self absorbed middle class "proper people" who can't imagine an "AMERICAN SPRING" and will be mortified when it arrives!
Reader Comments (1)
One of my housemates complained that her unemployment benefits were smaller than last year's. Ah well.