Re-Admissions......"Not In My Hospital"

                         The follow "Onion Editorial" is fictional, but the truth just SCREAMS

      I am a Hospitalist.  I attend to mostly elderly women admitted by ER docs.  Mpst often these patients present the common signs of advanced age, heart/lung/stomach complicated by a destabalizing episode such as a fall or an infection.  We say UTI and CatScan a lot. I often speak with levity about these patients and the fear origins of their instinct to scurry on down to the Hospitals ER.  Of course I'm clinically sympathetic, but.....these are problems that should be relegated to a savy Nurse at the Nursing Home down the street.  The Chinese, who fund our out of control Entitlement Programs can't afford for me to be involved in these Merry-Go-Round stories.  Without days of eliminating tests, I can't be sure that there are not more critical issues present.  Neither I nor the Hospital can run that risk.  What to do?  When the profile presents, I do everything I can to direct the likely repeat patient to a new life, albeit a more impoverished life. at the Near Midnight Nursing Home. You might not like this strategy but I'm an elitist and have no time nor patience for little things.